The Strength of the Foundation

by Rabbi Shmuel Lew
Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson was the mainstay of her home. As her husband, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, said numerous times, the physical foundation of the home is not visible, yet on the foundation rests the entire building. The outward appearance of the foundation is not important. What is important is its strength.

In truth, we knew very little about the Rebbetzin. She kept very much to herself. When she went to "770" (Lubavitch World Headquarters on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn) in order to visit her mother or her sister, she went in only when she saw that nobody was around. Everything about her was expressed through modesty. Yet the Rebbetzin is truly the foundation of Chabad-Lubavitch.

After the passing of her father, the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Chasidim begged her husband to take over the leadership of Chabad-Lubavitch. However, he refused. The Rebbetzin prevailed upon the Rebbe to accept. She said, "I cannot allow 30 years of my father's self-sacrifice to go to waste." This is what convinced the Rebbe. She knew very well what this would mean to her private life, but she gave her husband and her personal life to the Jewish people.

My father-in-law, Reb Zalman Jaffe, (o.b.m.) was from Manchester, England. He and his wife, my mother-in-law, were privileged to have a unique and close relationship with the Rebbe.

Once, when Reb Zalman was in New York for the festival of Shavuot, he was invited to partake of a holiday meal with the Rebbe in the apartment of the Previous Rebbe. Before returning to Manchester, Reb Zalman and his wife had a private audience with the Rebbe. At that time, the Rebbe asked my mother-in-law, "Mrs. Jaffe, did you give your husband permission to have the meal with me and not with you?"

She said that she had. Then the Rebbe asked, "You didn't mind?"

Mrs. Jaffe answered, "When I saw that the Rebbetzin forwent a meal with the Rebbe, I also agreed - and happily, too."

The Rebbe said, "The Rebbetzin has been agreeing for 40 years now!"

Before our wedding, my father-in-law asked the Rebbe whether we could invite the Rebbetzin to the wedding. The Rebbe told Reb Zalman that he was welcome to invite her and that she would be happy that she was invited. She would participate spiritually but the Rebbetzin does not attend public events.

The day came when I was invited to visit the Rebbetzin with my fiancé, future in-laws, and other family members. I remember how my heart pounded. My awe increased as we went up the steps of the house. We knocked on the door and the Rebbetzin herself opened it. I thought I would faint.

We entered and sat near the table, which had been set luxuriously. There were tiny, gold forks and each glass had a glass straw. The Rebbetzin asked me to serve the drinks, and I took the bottle and began to pour. You can well imagine how nervous I was. I didn't want to break the glasses but I forgot that each glass had a glass straw. I suddenly put my hand down and banged a glass straw, which tipped over the glass and the drink that was in it. I blushed and wondered where I might find a hole that I could hide myself in. The Rebbetzin immediately said that it was a sign of blessing. She knew exactly what to say to make light of my nervous clumsiness.

The Rebbetzin often visited a library in Manhattan. Once, when she presented her card, the librarian saw the name on it and asked, "Are you related to the famous Rebbe in Brooklyn?"

The Rebbetzin said she was.

"How are you related?"

"He is my husband," said the Rebbetzin.

The librarian began to complain to her about the Rebbe. She said that she had no children and "with great effort, I went to the Rebbe two years ago and asked him for a blessing for a child. The Rebbe blessed me and said I needed to commit to some mitzva, since a blessing is like rain and it needs a vessel to hold it. I told the Rebbe I would light candles Friday night. Two years have gone by and I still haven't had a child!"

The Rebbetzin calmed her down and said, "I don't have children either."

The librarian burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a Holocaust survivor and I was in concentration camps, and I am the sole survivor of my family. That's why it's so important to me to have children, so that the family will live on."

The Rebbetzin asked, "What exactly did my husband say to you?"

The librarian answered, "He said I should light Shabbos candles."

"Are you doing so?"

"Yes!"

"How do you do it?" inquired the Rebbetzin.

"Every Friday I light candles when my husband comes home from work, around seven or eight o'clock."

The Rebbetzin explained that Shabbos candles must be lit before sunset. "Commit to lighting the Shabbos candles properly," she suggested.

The librarian agreed to do so and ten months later she had a son. She stayed in touch with the Rebbetzin and even visited her.

There is a young couple who are part of the corps of nearly 3,000 emissaries (shluchim) of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. The couple had the privilege of receiving a blessing from the Rebbetzin before their marriage.

During their visit, the Rebbetzin asked the groom, "Are you the grandson of the Chassid, Rabbi- ?"

When the young man answered affirmatively, the Rebbetzin said, "Very good, because now I'm sure that your children will speak Yiddish."

Though many years passed after they were married and they did not have children, the couple did not despair. "We were not worried because the Rebbetzin had said that we would speak Yiddish to our children, and in order to do so we had to have children. We were also sure that we would have more than one child, because the Rebbetzin had said 'children.' We didn't lose hope for a moment, since we had the Rebbetzin's blessing," says the emissary.

A number of years ago, after 14 years of marriage, the couple had twins, a boy and a girl. They are named Menachem Mendel and Chaya Mushka.