it is obvious how truly important are peace and harmony between a husband and wife

... I trust it is unnecessary to emphasize to you at length that the Jewish way of life, together with its customs, etc., is not only very significant in its generalities, but is also significant in all its details and in the very order and arrangement of matters.

In light of this, it is obvious how truly important are peace and harmony between a husband and wife, since the mitzvah [commandment] of making peace between a husband and wife is counted among the mitzvos whose fruits a Jew enjoys in this world, while the "principal" remains for the World to Come.

These are mentioned right at the beginning of the Siddur [prayer book] - together with the morning blessings, which are recited even before starting the actual morning prayers.

With this in mind, it will prove somewhat easier to understand that even if one party were to be completely in the right (or almost completely in the right), while the other party were to be completely in the wrong (or almost completely in the wrong), it would still be incumbent upon both parties to do everything in their power to restore peace and harmony.

Certainly this duty becomes paramount in the case of a husband and wife who hold prominent positions in the community, as a result of which other Jews look up to them for example and guidance.

Clearly, an outsider cannot know, nor can he be told, what compelling reasons there might be for such a situation. The outsider can only observe and draw his own conclusions, since he will not inquire about, nor is it possible to inform him of, all the factors and extenuating circumstances, should there be any. Add to this the fact that it concerns a couple, both of whom are active in the sphere of Jewish education.

Moreover, and of course this is also most essential, G-d has blessed you with children, good children, who require the attention, love and upbringing of both parents. These children are surely entitled to receive what is due them from their parents.

Beyond a shadow of doubt, each of you must do everything possible not to further strain your relationship, but on the contrary, the two of you must endeavor to strengthen your relationship, restoring it to its full unity and harmony.

As to the situation itself, namely, who is right and who is wrong, I cannot, of course, go into this, nor is it necessary in light of what has been said above. For the important thing, as already stated, is to strengthen your family ties, this being the overriding consideration.

However, it would be well if the two of you could find a mutual friend before whom both of you could unburden yourselves in a frank exchange of grievances.

It is possible that an outsider, who at the same time is a friend, might see more objectively and find the best way to straighten things out, and [moreover, do so] as soon as possible, so that once again peace and harmony may reign in your home.

Hoping to hear good news from you,